Don't Compare Your Love
This technology take-over has been on my mind a lot lately. I got to thinking about love and social media and our constant keeping up with everybody. I think it's honestly making people less happy in their relationships. (I'm sure I'm not the only one who has come to this conclusion).
Think about it; you're in a relationship- the first few weeks, months, maybe even a year you get to snap shots of the bliss you're in, post kissing pictures, pictures of all the places he or she takes you, and you get to change your relationship status on FaceBook (FB official- it's a real thing). The beginning of a relationship is always great (if it's bad from the get-go...RUN!)
But then, real life starts happening, especially at the age of 25+. Family problems, money problems, you notice he doesn't hang his wet towels and he rubs his toes together weirdly when he watches TV. Before you know it, you're sitting there with a few problems in your relationship, staring at his toes with your eye twitching, while just casually checking your Facebook. You see post after post of "happy", so "in-love" couples and you start to think, "I deserve that! Why don't I have that?" And you start to trick yourself!
It's an epidemic! Two things happen: It turns people selfish in their relationships and it starts a pattern of forever-chasing that picture perfect bliss.
So #1: The selfishness - When you see pictures of all the things you don't have, you start to get bitter and completely miss what you do have. I feel like people start to think I don't get this and I don't get that, when any good relationship partner focuses on what they can give. It's all about giving, y'all. Don't worry it's not your fault- when you see pictures of girls getting roses every freaking day, you are bound to be like, "Wait...I like roses..." But let it go! And honestly, if you want more roses, give more roses! The person you are with will catch on.
And #2: The Pattern- Social media is like a poison to your relationship if you don't regulate it. Sounds dramatic, but it's true. When you're mushy, gushy stage is over and you hit the real stuff, the nitty-gritty, dig down deep, unconditional love stuff; people bail! Then what do we see? The next mushy-gushy stage with another dude/dudette 5 weeks later. Then repeat. It isn't healthy. You can't chase that feeling forever, well yes, actually you can, but if you stuck it out, you'd see the feeling, after the hard stuff, is when you feel a person's love and it's pretty remarkable.
The point is social media is the greatest tool to compare. That's all we're really ever doing on there. Comparing our lives to other people's. And I'm just saying, stop.
Don't compare your love to any one else's. Not on the web and not in real life. All kinds of love last. There are the high school sweet hearts, the college best friends, the co- workers, the couple that met on an airplane and got married 2 weeks later, the guy that cheated, but his wife forgave him and now they're happier than ever, the couple that argues all the time, the couple that never argues or even raises their voices, the person that said they'd never get married and now they are your token married friend, the person who dated countless faces and finally found the right one, the old woman and young guy, the couple that got pregnant at 15 and have been married 40 years, the bad guy and the good girl, the snobby, yachting couple, the homeless couple, the couple that "never should have made it," because they went through too much, but there they are, there they all are; happy!!
Your love is your love. Only hold it to your heart's standards. If your heart is happy, forget the rest. Forget the statistics, what "usually" happens, the judgements, the eyes of disapproval. That doesn't matter. Your hearts happiness matters. So quit comparing your love and just live it.
Photo by Amy Lynn Photography
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Skye Schanzer was born and raised in Southern California. Growing up, she spent her Summers on the sandy beaches and her Winters in the snowy mountains. She is now nestled in the hills of the Temecula Valley, with her handsome husband and two life-loving kids.
She's a writer and strives to spread positivity in everyday life through her blog, Bring The Happy. She is most at ease with that California sunshine warming her face, pen in hand, the sound of her kids laughing and husband by her side. Writing, photography, family and love is what it breaks down to. Every day is a happy adventure!